Somewhere in a parallel universe I am Brian Cox

I just realised, somewhere in a parallel universe I am Brian Cox
Replete with high tech camping gear and fluffy thermal socks
I stand astride a mountain range
and flick my luscious locks

Somewhere in a parallel universe I'm Jeremy Clarkson
Explaining how a Ferrari is the best car by none
I stand astride a tarmac road
till all the cars have gone

Somewhere, parallel, et cetera, I'm the bloody pope!
With original sin and charity and a smattering of hope
I stand astride a corrupted church
and rule science out of scope.

Draft version 1.0, 22/3/2011. Please do not copy or cite without author's permission.